Best Part

 I figure I've spent a lot of time with these doubts/fears/ concerns about my relationship.. I realize what the other stuff..

there is a reason I am still where I am.. I remember when we met. when we actually met, and she actually let me into her life, and gave me a piece of her. 
I didn't know it then but it was as though she had been planning on this outcome. 

I am grateful for her.. I appreciate her. I honor her. and I don't want anyone else in the world. 

I love that when I call in crisis...when I call at all she usually calls back, answers, or is in the first car showing up to me. 
I love that she doesn't smother me, but helps me feel what I feel, while full along being present with me. I love that I have trusted her enough that i let her be here even when I'm "shut down" and that she is open to that and she knows or is learning how to comfort me, or help me snap out of it.

I love our happy moments.. the moments where she is singing to me while Im driving, how I randomly catch her in the corner of my eye staring at me, as I am driving her wherever. or how she sometimes just randomly listens to a song, love song likely, and serenades my hand as if it was me. lol 
shes so amazing to me... when she is present in my life

When I talk to her on the phone,and not through texts or whatveer. it is as though she hears me, as we know text messages are not toned in our actual words or voice or whatever tone.
so when we talk on the phone it is so much better, nad so muhc more beautiful

I love how she makes me feel.. that I can feel happy, content, and just daydreaming about the future you know.. the future such as getting engaged, getting married, building our lives together, having a family. 

I often forget that these may be insane thoughts.. but I want to be her everything, I want her to be my everyhting, and I want the entire package, I want the entire world, I wnat evrything. and i want  her to feel comfortable with me, she can tell me anything, she can try push me aside, and there is nowehre else id rather be then iwth her. 

I love her I love her.

I wish that she knew that more. I wish so much into the universe. I just want her in my life, and I want to be able to build our lives up. whatveer that may be

right now..its silence...and that is what is the hardest becuase alls I have is the glimmer of whatver is in my memory regarding her and I. 

and that is great but we need more good days then bad