hanging in there

I dont know what the right choice is. Or maybe i do but I'm fighting every instinct of it because I know what it's like to be alone, to be forced to face the darkness alone. I already repeatedly said I'm not giving up on us. I'm not giving up on you. Just as I've heard you tell me that you've seen potential in me. I see it in you 

Recently we went on a drive. An on that drive I drove by hardware store. That was actually the first time I met you. Was in passing. I knew nothing of you an thought damn. 

But the next time we met idk. I guess we both take time to get used of one another. But once we got there... I still couldn't see that you cared about me in any way. 

Its funny now as I go thro all of our messages an phone calls. Bs love notes. That bs meaning of how I feel about you hasn't changed.

But I'm struggling. I'm struggling because maybe the people who talk shit about me shouldn't matter but they do. An its lame an I'm lame. But if you knew the person I was before I am who I am. It's hard to be remembered of who I was. 

Regardless my only truth that I'm holding. The only thing I know full heartedly is that I am completely in love with you. An although your pushing me away an altho I'm hurting right now. I'll forever stand by you. I wish it mattered enough for you to want to be here with me but it doesn't. 

Remember when we weren't there yet. Where every kiss an every hand hold. Every moment of desire was Beautiful. I miss those days. And I hope we find them because I'm dying without the love. 

I've given up a lot of my own self to be there for you and I don't know whats right or wrong about us. Allegedly you care enough to love me but not enough to let me in.  I don't know what that means. .

I hope to tell the world how much I love you and that I'll never leave you or give up on you. 

I'm sorry for whatever your dealing with an going through but I'll be here whenever your ready to reach out for me..  that will hopefully never change...until then keep your head up an keep moving forward. 

Whether this is truth for you or not. This is who I am. This is what I'm all about. I'll always love deeply. I'll always want an desire you an hope u feel the same. I don't know what to say.... plz see me. Pls tell me you know I'm here. An what I'm ready to give up for u.