Thursday, December 4, 2008

failing in some way

Where do I begin? the last time I wrote I said I was struggling with strong desires that seemed to overpower me at times. especially when it came to emotional crisis, or even just frustration...feelings of inadequacy.

I guess with the determination and desire felt within me caused me to do things I wish I did not. act in ways I wish i could not remember.

In other words I failed...the feelings were strong...the support was lacking. and even then who was I to reach out too in this time? so I did what I craved to do, desired and needed to do.
It was great because I made it four weeks without it and survived somewhat...and so even though i failed I just have to find new habits, new desires..and all that and maybe I'll do better next time.

the workshop thing Im doing is going alright. a little strange I dont really feel part of the group, I feel like a bystander to the group...but that's partly my fault because im so unsure of the whole situation and everything it's hard to figure out where it all goes and how it all happens..


I can't write much longer..the kids are back....

try again when I have more time.


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