Stand by you

 All my doubts and fears about us basically laid to rest...I'm back to still willing to be someone in your life willing to stand by you, next to you, or as you say at the sidelines cheering you on. these are part of who I am, and how i love those in my life. 
I went through a lot to get you here in my life at this time.. and IDK why I wasnt ready for you right away but maybe we weren't.. and here we are...

I still can't tell the future. I still can't tell what's real all the time, but I can say... that this weekend and the time and patience you had with me and staying with us, the moments of laughter, clarify the love we share, and my desires for our future still stand in wanting a future with you.
I have tried to stand aside and let you be, and i'll probably always struggle with not being the first person you will turn too, jsut as long as Im not the last. 
its funny when you texted me you had said I'd automatically feel sad, but I dont... and I think for me part of that is that I believe in us. I believe we were put here for one another for a reason, for a time like this, and a time like now.. 
I went through our times together and all the times you see stood by me, came to my rescue, and loved me when i wasnt sure there was any part of me to love... and you proved me wrong time and again that there is something, someone, a part of me that is worthy of love, and is worthy of making it to the end of the line.

so today when being told about it all. no I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry. I have faith in us, I have faith in our future and all that we will acccomplish as a couple. I love you. I cherish you. and I will stand by you.. 

I know that you and I share the same reservations about sharing our parts with one another let alone anyone, and in the fears and doubts, I have already let you down, but I know I haven't.. in my mind I was still with you, even though I had hurt you. I was still with you. 

I am still with you. and I will not give up on us..  I am grateful for the time we have together and thats is worth writing about, remembering.. that no matter what you say to me... I love you and I am with you, and I am willing to stand by you.. 
I can't get over why you'd choose me.. I mean a part of me sees the heart adn soul I carry and that some people attach to that, adn that's why I have those people in my life/ 

I don't know IM tired. and I am not making any sense... I just know no matter what the future holds I am standing by you.