truly remain yours

I'm consistently struggling..an I dont know if that's normal... I mean... realistically is love meant to be easy to get into an out of. Or is meant to push the boundaries. To push your need for comfortable zones. Push your vulnerabilities. So that you begin to trust the person you say you love.

It's not meant to be an easy decision..

I'll forever been imprinted...by the love that I never had. Because I believe that I had found that love. Maybe I didn't. But maybe I did. What my life would have looked like if my morals weren't about family protecting them etc.

But because I am the protector... I left that love. An that history back in Ontario. 

My time in BC.. I'd like to say I jumped in an out of relationships. But I'm not the type. So I went into some sort term..long term places...only once since being here did I truly believe in thst love.. 

And even then, as the world falls to pieces... as the love becomes harder to hold onto 

I found something

A love deeper than i could express  an to have captivate that love

Regardless the reason its important 

I'm too exhausted 

So I'm asking all these things cause....we aren't able to do the next steps

We have changes we have to make.. but how long. When..  how do we know what that love is an how do make the changes to the steps...with having no freaking Idea when. Where how. When....what

There's so many ideas... an idk. I want the next steps but I'm also not sure,