memories from last year

First off...I must pay honor to Betty White. Such sad news to hear that she had passed away.

Rest in peace Betty. 

Now onto the new year.... my memories are flooded with memories from the last year. Grateful for the life I've had but also completely recognizing the difficulties I've faced. 

It looks like last I wrote was about love...

Love still stands... an sometimes I still don't know why.. I dont know how I've ever been so lucky to be able to find a place such as this. With everything I've been through. 

I'm grateful for what love I have found. I cannot tell you enough..  how weird of circumstances it has been. But how grateful I am to have found a place where love exists. 

I have absolutely no idea how I've been put in this place to have been in love with someone an to have lasted for such a year as this. An to be alive with her.  

We've been through so much.. so much moments where we had doubts. Questions. Concerns. Reasons to not continue etc. 

Yet... here we are.. here we are together in this so called love. 

On our way to forever. An I just don't know how or why or when or how. What do we do from here. How do we get through this. How do we make goals an achieve them. How do we save money. How do we build on family. 

I dont even know what to think. I don't know what to do. 

Sometimes people see our pictures and think you look so happy. But sometimes they look at those pictures an think your so exhausted. All is true. Because as much as I try be happy. I also am done with the current job. An ready to take on something less stressful. 

I need to find a way to take the next steps. To find the right moments where happiness is truth. Where we can be ourselves an move forward in all the love we could have had. 

How do we set goals that love matters enough without doubt. 

How can she have the best weekend of her life an yet we just present with one another. I want more. I want more than that. I want to laugh. Love. Dance. Inspire. An move forward 

My mind is so lost right now. I'm losing my mind right now and I want more out of all this. 

Keep moving forward. But how do we do better. How do we survive. How do we stay alive. 

I dont understand 

I'm losing my mind I guess.

How do we see last year. An know how far we've come. And how far we are willing to go

I so want the world to know our love. But to survive it in a better place. To give us a happiness that is better than this.

There's so much.. In my head..

The last year has done one thing proven each of us has made it. An we are moving forward..we are going to build on a life...

An hopefully take the next steps...the next steps being..  omg can you believe I'll say it...

Moving forward to engagement. Reading about it all. An learning best ways.

I have it on my mind. Because I just love the idea of being with her forever. An at the same time in saying that I worry about that..  but I'm grateful for her. I'm grateful for the happiness she has given me