so apart from the issues going on in my life..Im really stuck on the idea that someone thinks im an alcoholic.. I mean don't ask me the last time I had a drink..
but at the same time Im not doing that often or always...
I was deeply offended when someone came and laughed at the idea of me not drinking for two weeks... it was three months since I had been drinking.. i started drinking last week but it wasn't huge and it wasn't all the time..it was social..and now Im growing past that..
but this person said these funny things in front of an old friend of mine..I was deeply hurt by that because apart from my old friend and I catching up in a funny way...this person just blah..
I met a cop tonight... he and I got into talking and he asked me if I had ever considered being a police officer...do you know how funny that was? I mean it got me thinking but at the same time im not sure I could handle that you know?
this was why the friend said you'd have to stop drinking for two weeks..
because the cop had told me about a canoe trip that the VPD does to help something or something not really sure I'll have to check out the website..but I was kinda suprised to hear him say that... it got me thinking of the idea again... I mean yeah..
what do you think huh? A police officer...me!!! crazy idea huh? when I was in foster care this was before my dad died I had thought of it... and then when a cop said all these rude hurtful things to me I really wanted to become a cop just to prove that there are actually good cops out there.. but I was thinking and let it pass..because I wasn't sure how many lives that would be changed you know? how many people I would really help...
whereas a youth worker it would be a different story...
but that cop was fairly inspiring and now that Im an adult things seem different you know? I mean Im not treated terribly by the cops....they stop bothering me tremendously because Im not causing trouble...I have alot of respect for cops... its scary at times because once in a while you'll run into a really rude cop..and it's difficult to recover from that...
either way..thats why my friend had said what they said..and I had thought about it and wondered was it really true?
I came to the conclusion that that's not my problem...there's more to the story of my life..then drinking and that its not an addiction..and that im good you know? whether anyone believes me is their stuff not mine..no one really could tell me different even if I had a problem..because I'd have to be the one to recognize the problem.. and looking at it I don't see a problem..
other then that..I was reconnected to an old friend..someone I haven't seen in million years and man alive did she ever look good...she seems to be doing good too which is great..I hope to touch base with her tomorrow..it's always wonderful running into childhood friends... there's always lots to catch up on...
anyhow im exhaustedly tired and in desperation of sleep...
night
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