It's really difficult to figure out where to begin. I mean it feels like Im this ice shine of greatness this amazing person. so many people tell me that I am, and I act in ways that I am.. but I feel like crap...
I mean literally what am I doing? I know I have till April for school but the fact is I dont have a job right now..and it's driving me crazy. I mean its great doing favors for other people but I feel like crap and I am started to feel worse...
all's I can think about is what kind of job would I be good at? i mean it's really frustrating..I shouldn't have left my job I dont know what I was thinking..and even then in this time. im realizing some horrible stuff that I didn't know before...
its hard to express this..I mean Im totally feeling crappy..
and the best part of it all is that im not cutting...I mean Im really happy about that and Im really just glad for that...I mean thats one thing I'd run too in a time like this. and at times I wanted to but I've found ways to help me through...
I think Im getting crazy...I mean Im just really tired tonight...but it's like apart from long term goals..what are my short term goals you know? I mean that's something my counselor always asks me and I have nothing I can say to her because I dont know....
Im writing this new story...and I feel like a disgrace writing it..I mean it's great to be a writer but when I dont know wheres its going or what it will become, or how it will end it bugs me. usually it comes to me and I put all the pieces together..but for the past three days im rambling on about different things and im worried that the story itself will become too long, not so interesting after a little bit....
i was glad to be inspired to write but now...Im just like I dontknow how to end this story you know?
who knows...
Im just tired for now...hopefully things will start to pick up...because I really need to get myself in gear for this future of mine..before the present flies right by me...
night
No comments:
Post a Comment