having a crisis

I feel like a loser...

First off, yesterday July 31, 2017 at 10:10AM, my sister delivered her son Elijah into this world, and for that I'm so proud of her... she also let me be in the delivery room with her.. absolutely amazing but not a lot of pictures I can share with the world lol.

Anyway.. Im a loser because I have a huge debt... and instead of asking for help or getting help.. I did nothing... and now... as a result of my irresponsibility my accounts at the bank have been frozen, the bank wants at least 500 dollars of  payment for an account I no longer have access too.

Believe me... its the worst feeling.. I had 95 dollars left.. that was to pay my hydro and the rest was for my food... and having zero dollars, and hearing that no matter what I do my account will remain frozen until the bank get something from me.. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have 500 dollars lying around, and I don't gamble, don't go to bingo, so I can't afford to somehow magically come up with money to pay off the debt that's over 10, 000 dollars..

On top of this... my vehicle.. I took it in to get the brakes done, and the oil checked.. and instead of a simple what 200 dollars, the place tells me that theres severe issue with this and that and it will cost over a thousand dollars.. at no time in the all the idiotic times that I've been to repair shop has anyone mentioned or told me this, and instead let it wear out, so currently only one side of my car is fixed, and that in itself too all my money  from my payday.

so no money.. no food. no gas, no coffee... not even a piece of bread.. I'm dying.. and I'm and idiot.. I had planned along time ago to go away for the long weekend, but I'm afraid now..because I'm going without any money, and I basically paid for the nonrefundable hotel so I can't even get my money back.. to cancel my trip

I honestly feel like killing self.. and I feel like quitting my job, and stop collecting so much money and blowing it on things, it's time to be poor and have nothing.. but it also would mean that Im choosing to become homeless..
I don't know what to do.. I don't know how to make it to my next payday, I don't even know how i'm going to get the money from my work for any payment of anything.. I'm completely screwed..
I just don't know what to do.. besides have thoughts and desires about wanting to give up.. because I now see NO way out of this..