We were close once or twice but in the months actually years we've been together.
It kept up with this idea that it will get better. That they want to be with me. Fight for me. An stand by me.
But tbh...my issue... is I'm not able to properly take care of myself in sense... my hair... lol superficial yes but it's my signature likeness..
I have barely left the city. Barely done anything. I want to leave.. an everyone said I should.
Maybe I will
But I'm confused by my partner.. confused by her stuff and why she doesn't connect to me.. or have any desire to see me.
I'm stuck in my head... thinking....all the reasons this isn't working out...
I dont want it to end. I don't want to let go. We put so much hope in the idea of us. Future marriage. Many tattoos. Kids. Travel.
An yet in the 2 yrs.. she actually hasn't gone anywhere with me.
Idk
I'm losing mind.
If I take the steps to ensure she is my next of kin.. idk if she would even be there for me. I also don't know who told her i was in hospital
Hmm m.m
I'm not trusting... because she is basically a stranger to me... but then again my bff is now doing the same thing.
I trust no one... actually I trust one person... lol she lives in Ontario and hasn't talked to me in months. Years even. Though I've sent her pictures an emails she was the one above it all for me..
No one is ever as good enough as her. She will always matter...
My brain is racing. Idk what the right decision may be
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