Im stuck on this ring... about two weeks ago today.. I was in Victoria with my love..and we were walking along the seawall and I stopped at this jewellry stand..and found myself an amazing ring.. it fit so perfect..it meant so much to me..Im not sure why it meant so much to me.. I dont get why I care about it so much.. however I had a really difficult night one night and took the ring off and I ended up losing it...I searched for it for so long but could not find it... Im disappointed in myself for losing the ring...
I mean...I get attached to a lot of things..but this ring..I mean the one day I was doing dishes I took off the ring and forgot about it..when I realized it was gone...I got really upset and almost started crying..I searched for it frantically..and found it..and swore to never take it off again, that was the night I took it off and lost it....
Im not sure why it meant so much to me...maybe it was because of how it fit on my finger.. maybe its because I was with my love when I got it...or maybe who really knows why it meant so much to me...
I was supposed to be back in Victoria today..to get another ring for my love...but I didn't go because my love is away..and also I ended up spending a majority of my money on my new clothes and the paint for my pink room..Im changing the color to superman colors!! pretty awesome so far I love it...and can't wait to finish it tomorrow sometime...I dont know where Im sleeping tonight I guess in my hallway because my room is a mess with the clutter of al my stuff..
have you ever loved someone so much? I mean...my love is away and I have never had such a desire to have them with me.. I mean...when they were with me here at my house it was a constant battle of fighting because I'd get so moody only because as much as I loved having my love with me..I also loved my space you know? I mean I felt like I constantly had to entertain or had to be by my love's side...I mean I did not want my love to leave me...how amazing it was to wake up with my love by my side...to be there...to have that love there... I could have stayed in bed all day just with my love...having them there with me...amazing...totally amazing..
However....I have a job and responsibiilities..i can't imagine how difficult it will be when I leave to Ontario for three days...I mean I can't imagine how Im going to sleep without my love by my side...
I considered taking my love with me to Ontario...but I realized that my brother Randy has not been on a plane or been anywhere far away..and I'd love for my friends in Ontario to meet my brother because he's so awesome...and he needs to get away..to see the world...although its only Ontario..I know for me when I was 18yrs old to have been in Ontario it was a great experience.. I mean being at NLGH was amazing times...although if I could have been more open to the things that they had for me I could have been different then what I am now....
I mean it's just hard to believe that life I had you know? I mean..just thinking of it...having that time there...being there...it was amazing...and I highly strongly request anyone who's never been there to go and visit...I mean it totally changes you...and our look at life... there's just something about that place....it just really wonderful...I can't wait to take my brother there..
it's been two days since my love has been gone...and I found myself in a constant place of playback.. the last two weeks of my life...the last two weeks of waking up to my love... and the constant amazing nights we've had, the times away...and it's just wow you know? I find myself day dreaming of the past...smiling at funny moments...even though my love is not with me..I just can't help but smile...because my love brings so much joy into my life, it's almost as if they bring a greater atmosphere of greatness into my life.... I always look at my love...and just can't believe it you know? this great satisfaction...great reward of being in their life... I love it...and I love my love...the person I love...so amazing...
my love understands that I have loved before....I loved one man at moments...I still love him... I call him...talk to him..but we are friends now...but I will always love that man in Ontario a piece of me will always love him...but Im growing out of that..but I think a part of me will always love him...
tonight there are hardly any stars out...but earlier there were...and i could not help but look up at the stars and just think of my love...where are you my love....are you thinking of me too? do you smile every time you think of me? I love my love so much....sometimes I can't stand it I feel like I go crazy!
I love you! my sweet love! I love you BSAWS! you are my love! I'm missing you and can't wait till the day I see you again!!!!
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