legacy contact

Im not sure why. Why you. Why depths. Darkness. Deepest secrets. Why do i choose you. Except to know that when you lose me. You'll honor my wishes. Ive spent years of my life wishing to connect. But also not wanting too. Because we met in turmoil. I remember some chaotic chaos. More importantly you showing up for me. And the weight that mustve had on your wellbeing. Mental wellness. I feel so ashamed for putting you thro all of it. I don't recall those phone calls or voicemails. But i remember you loving me enough to leave voicemail for me to listen to while i felt trapped. I tried to hold onto those so much. Because the voice and heart of u telling me you loved me. That id get thro this. Gave me hope. Gave me a light.

There have been so many wonderful beautiful people who had supported me. Been there for me. But where you differ. Its as tho you pulled me from the ashes. You refused to let my demons win. You fought for me. I lived for you. 

I know of all people. I can count on you. Thank you for being in my life. Please know Ive worked beyond to make you proud to have known me. Supported me. Saved me. But in saving me. You found yourself. Which i thought was hilarious cause a part of me always knew. Regardless one thing you my legacy contact can do. Is free the turtles. Bring my lil man. Show him power of life. We always said we would go. And of alll things i reserve in my life that one notion belongs to you.

You deseve happiness. You deserve to let go of the trauma i brought into your life. 

Let go my lady.

Live your beautiful life and dont just work. Enjoy life. Reserve one week or two every 5 yrs. Go do something new. Live your life. An never give up on yourself. To thine own self be true

Goodbye. Whenever that day comes. Thank you for honoring me. Never giving up on me. 

Just live. Live for you. For your partner. For being honored to be alive. To have gratitude to have built this life. I miss you. I miss you often. I cannot let anyone as close to me as you ever got. Cause as much as im grateful. I also have to deal with the loss of piece of my heart 

You truly are the greatest of all time 

I will cherish u always