moving

I am in moments of shock. I'm worried sort of watching all these shows about medical stuff. That I looked at someone picture randomly an couldn't recognize the person in the photo. 

Recognizing that either the death of me truly traumatized me. Or the truth is  we never really knew each other 

It's lame. Cause just a show a moment ago. About a man teaching a blind kid how to recognize other senses. Said someone heart and body temp elevated because the person was in love with the man she was walking with.. so is it possible that even though I dont recognize their faces that certain parts of people. Like their voice. Their scent. Their touch  can become memory. Can be how we recognize when our other sense goes down .

Either that or face thr continued reality that I didn't matter. They mattered the world to me. An still did everyday but.  I didn't matter the same. That more than ever we are placed in certain people's lives. To either uplift. Carry. Discard. Hold. Etc whatever other things. But that at some point in time we move on 

We forget. ? Or we don't have that same love. It would be true that love fades away. 

I dont know. That was a bit of a gut kick. 

I dont wish anyone pain. But it hurt. For me. Because for me there was a love there. There was a connection there. An now it's severed. 

I move forward. 

Never forget what we meant to one another before but to embrace that we saved. Helped. Loved. Cared. Cherished. Had experiences with..

Memories of a past that will never come to light in the future again if I had known the last time was the last time. Idk what I would've done different or if it would have made a difference. 

I carry you with me. And cherish the love and devotion we shared..

If you laughed right about now. I feel id remember who you were maybe. But I don't even know anymore. My mind playing tricks or my heart.