unconscious

Don't see the world like the world sees me. 

I'm struggling... the constant battle... would I have been been better off not coming back. 

Why do I continue to deserve to live. I'm feeling like... I've lost some stuff since coming back. 

Tbh I thought about spouting some truth but I think I'll wait for the anniversary date to say that. 

For today... I'm being tortured by the concerns I'm in a relationship with someone who is struggling with addiction an on one hand people say leave them walk away etc. But that isn't who I am.

Which is weird to say because my kids parents aren't here an havent been around in a few years. An I usually would an should walk away because of all things I don't know..

My partner who hasn't out front told me what's been going on but I've had my suspicious behavior that I've seen an heard from others. An therefore. I finally confronted my partner. It doesn't seem like they want to make a change. An that means I'm supposed to walk away an I dont know how to do that. 

I know what's best for me an my kid but idk how to make it a reality. 

The choices my partner has made or is making isn't effecting affecting me. As we don't live together. Or spend much time together. 

But the hopes an plans were things to grow an become rooted in one another. 

I'm distracted an exhausted... I'm just not feeling myself. And I'm disappointed