Saturday, November 20, 2010


Its been a long time since I have been on a computer or even away from my love...

So much has happened in the last 12hrs that has got me going crazy with fear, frustration, hurt even if it can be possible... I'm beyond confused and I feel like I'm walking into a trap you know? I'm going to be facing something I have never done before, the approval of someone who means a great deal to my love...

In the last 12hrs I have cried my eyes out, and been working for two days now...and even though I wasn't all there I still went to work because there was nothing left to do... I have been at my moms now for a day an night and all's I want to do is go home but there is so much fear in it you know? How do we or I undo everything that's been done? how do I make this time perfect?

I have to find my way before the time is up and I see my life flashing before my eyes? is it a good thing? is it a bad thing? how will i truly look if I walked back into that place?

So lost and I can't even write anymore because my skills and desire for writing has vanished... I have done so many things that aren't like me...that I'm not sure how to survive anymore but I'm doing what I can to stay afloat..


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